#04 - Ritwik

Nationality: Indian
A song: Akon – Right now (na na na)

Facebook Profile: doensn't have it

Yes, that’s it. He claims not to have a surname, what can I do?! Accept and that’s it.

It was a sunny afternoon, around noon to be more specific. What day?! Doesn’t matter, it used to happen everyday.  I was in the kitchen, preparing myself to cook my poor, unimaginative and regular food.  Washing my plate in the sink with my back to the door, I hear the click while it opened. Less than a second later, the expected greeting: “Bro!”

Shivers started to come down my spine: “(Oh, my God, here it comes…) Hey Ritwik, how’s it going?!”. When you tell Ritwik something like that it’s like you’re opening the cage for the little Eddie Murphy that lives within this annoying little bastard:

“I’m fine… and hungry. Oh… what are you cooking?! Smells good! (=)) Can I have a taste? Oh… noodles again. You should eat some fruit (¬¬)! I don’t know what to cook yet. Maybe some noodles as well. Can I borrow some of yours? “I got my first six string/ Bought it at the five and dime”. I love that song (the same he’d been singing for the past 3 months). Oh... I need to go to Tesco tonight. Are you coming? Need to buy sum stuff. Bro... do you have lecture today?! I saw some of your course mates this morning (grrrrrrr). And you know...”

“Ritwit, stop talkin’.”

This is Ritwik: a verbal machine gun, locked, loaded and ready to communicate (in the monologue mode, of course).

Ritwik is a PHD student, so he’s not new here in Brunel when I came in. He already knew how things used to work and end up as a Student Mentor. In his first year, he met Abdus and they became friends, that’s how he turned out to be the Abdus Fan Club’s founder and leader, as mentioned here. And it is very interesting to see that friendship and admiration he holds for Abdus.

Stronger than that, just his insane preference for Chinese women.  Seriously, you come to him with Jenna Jameson (the international pornstar) totally naked and horny in one hand. In the other you have a Chinese toaster: “Hey Ritwik, pick one!”  Now you draw your own conclusions.

Part of the “Monopoly dudes” (and the inventor of this title), Ritwik had a barrier he needed to cross. He was NEVER able to win the fucking game. Sometimes for not understanding its rationale, sometimes for doing bad deals, some other just for lack of luck. Poor bastard. However, in the last and definitive round, the last of the “Monopoly Dudes” game, guess who won. And more, guess who was the last one standing against him… If your answers were the obvious “Ritwik” and  “Leo”, you’re right. But don’t go thinking that you’re a genius, because it was SO fucking obvious!

Enjoy the ride, my friend!